Waiting for "Z"

I have decided that I need to add more stories about what it is like to have adopted an older child, to have "twin daughters of different mothers"-as my husband puts it...to just have two 3 year olds in general, the contrast of each of our adoption experiences, and the good old fashioned fun that we have together-as well as the challenges. So, I have decided to make this blog a bit more introspective on my part in efforts to help those in the process of adoption or those just interested in one's human experience trying to parent two children with similar roots and complete different dispositions and life experiences.

So here goes...I thought I would ease into this and share a moment in my day. The setting of this "moment" takes place about 20 minutes ago at our dinning room table. Simret is eating her piece of pizza and looks at me and says "Mommy can I see some pictures on your computer." Since Lance is working and no one else is around, I decide that it would be "okay" if they watch a slide show of our pictures on our computer (weird that I feel that I need to justify them watching the computer during dinner...that being said- I contemplate how strange it is that we have the ability to "watch a computer" when there wasn't such an option when I grew up; did I just say "when I grew up" that dates me as well as the 13 channeled TV we had growing up; the kind that you had to get up to turn the knob to change channels). So, here we are watching pictures on the computer enjoying our pizza and my much deserved glass of wine when a picture of "Z" comes up ("Z" is a 10 month old little girl that has been referred (they are adopting her) to one of my favorite couples in the world and is from DR Congo in Africa).

Simret: "When is "Z" coming home".

Me: "soon".

Simret: "why soon".

Me: "I don't know".

Simret: "but she should be home now".

Me: "I know honey, we all want her home now. But, we have to wait like we had to wait for Makeda."

Makeda (looking at the picture): "but she looks sad Mama".

Me: "She is probably scared Baby"

Simret: "She needs to come home to Hannah's ("Z's" sister) home Mommy."

Me: "I know, she will be soon."

Makeda: "She doesn't have a Mommy or Daddy?"

Me: "Yes, Jen and Lars are her Moomy and Daddy."

Makeda: "What happened to them, did they get cut?"

Me: "I don't know, sweetie".

Simret: "No Mommy or Daddy like Keda? That is so sad. I'm sad for "Z"".

Makeda: "Did Mommy and Daddy get cut?"

Me: "I don't know? But she will be coming home soon."

Simret: "But Keda is here now, is at home but "Z" we need to get her".

Me: "I know honey. It will be okay they are taking care of "Z".

Simret: "In Ethiopia?"

Me: "No but in Africa".

Simret: "Oh, but Keda your here, we got you I'm glad. We got you and you not leave our home ever, ever. We went and got you and your home, I'm glad."

Me: "Simret that is the sweetest thing that I have ever heard. Mommy is so proud of you."

Makeda: "Me here ever and ever".

Me: "I love you guys."

Makeda: "I love you too Mommy".

Simret: "I love "Z" too, she is my sister".

Me: "We all love "Z" and yes she can be your sister just like Hannah and Makeda are".

I then go into the bathroom and cry; I'm not quite sure why? Was it because I am so proud of my girls? Is it because I am so relieved that Makeda is home and so thankful that she is in our lives? Is it because I remember what my girlfriend Jen is going through right now waiting to bring home her sweet baby girl? Is it because I fear what has happened to Makeda's parents and what she has experienced in her short life? One thing I do know is that I'm a lucky girl...