January 15th...pain

This is kind of off of the subject...but since this is Simret's baby album...kind of...I thought it might be fitting. So, I have been in pain for about 3-4 months now and no one has seemed to care...at least that is what I say when I complain to Lance. I have had bilateral wrist pain and weakness, worse on the left side. I really have only complained about it to Lance and only a few times over the last 3 months...but still. So, this wrist pain has progressive gotten worse over the last couple of months; so I decided to self diagnose my pain and have been taking Celebrex or any antiinflammatory that I can find with minimal relief. So, being the horrible patient that I am...I continued like this for a month...hoping that it would take care of itself. Well, then I started to drop things...like 3 plates in less than 2 days. I found that it was getting hard to hold Simret (who wants to be held a lot these days and as you all know, she is a big girl). It was getting hard to wrestle with her to put her clothes on (she likes being naked) or change her diaper. It was actually getting in the way of most of the activities that I was doing. Lance was starting to make fun of how "clumsy" I was becoming. So, I went to an orthopedic doctor today and he confirmed my fears that I was going to have to have an INJECTION. I know this may seem surprising to most, especially since I am a nurse, that I would rather have surgery or maybe even a limb removed than have and injection. You see, I don't mind giving injections, I just don't like receiving them. My mother told me stories about how it would take 4 nurses to hold me down as a child when they would give me immunizations. So, there I was trying to be an adult about it because the orthopedic doctor is kind of a friend of ours, but really freaking out on the inside. I wanted to run out of that office, but instead I had this viscous fluid filled with cortisone crystals injected into my wrist...into the 3 tunnels? It was horrible...well actually it wasn't as bad as I had plotted in my head. The problem is that I will probably have to have the other wrist done. I was diagnosed with De Quervain's tenosynovitis. He said that "it is a new mother's disorder usually". I didn't know that? He said that my injury was caused by picking up Simret; that the tendons get inflamed and therefore trapped in the tunnels from the repetitive motion of picking her up. So, hopefully the injection works...but I am quite sure that it will reoccur; as I don't see her not wanting to be held (or my not wanting to hold her) for some time? But, it made me kind of proud to have an injury that "mother's get". You see, I still have a hard time grasping the fact that I am a mother? I am not sure why this is; as I have almost been one to Simret for a year? But, having a "mother's injury" makes it a little more real...I am still waiting for the day that I wake up and think "I am a mother". There are still multiples times that I remind self (as if it were only a dream) that "I have a baby"...a baby that isn't a baby anymore? Well, enough rambling for tonight...