January 30th, 2008 A tribute to my birthfamily...

We leave in 3 days and there has been a multitude of emotions that have seemed to surface within me these last two weeks. I have gone from sheer excitement to pure anxiety and back more times than is probably considered “normal”. I guess today I lay somewhere in the middle, more humbled at the thought that I am going to have this amazing opportunity to raise Simret and become her mother. As I am writing this, I struggle with the words become her mother and am her mother; as I don’t quite feel like a mother yet. Others tell me that this will happen naturally the minute I hold her; my soul feels that we have been connected for more than a lifetime…but to be a mother to her? What a powerful title motherhood holds; one that does not feel deserving at this time, at least not yet. Then I begin to think of her mother. What an amazingly courageous woman she must have been; to have the strength to take Simret to a place where she knew that she was safe with the love and hope that she would have a good future. I cannot imagine how painful that must have been?

I am reminded how fortunate I am to have both of my mothers in my life. Meeting my birth family, at the age 23, has been the greatest gift I have ever been given; it has filled a hole in my soul that I did not know existed. Unfortunately, Simret meeting her birth mother or family is one gift that I cannot give her; as she was abandoned without any indication as to who they were. Knowing that she will never have the opportunity to meet her birth mother and family makes my heart ache; as I could not imagine not having my birth mother, sisters, grandparents, aunt, cousins, and Butch (my step-dad) in my life. The only thing that I would change about my relationship with them is how much I see them; it is not frequent enough. So, I guess I just wanted to thank the woman who gave birth to me and loved me so much that she gave me two families…






my biological sisters Jessica & Sara...aren't they beautiful?







Our first Holiday together in Mexico...my sister's and my birth mother


The first picture is El Butcho in Mexico (my step-dad)...this picture says it all...he is nothing but a good time! The second picture is Butch and I at my wedding.

..........................both of my mothers at our wedding